40 Things That Feel Like They Should Be Illegal to Know But Are Pretty Much Common Knowledge

Give a man a uniform and a name tag, and he can enforce almost any rule even if the man in question is a teenage cinema employee with a snotty nose and tons of zits. All the more so when you have an army of these snotty-used, uniformed teenagers enforcing the same fake rule worldwide.

So, with this great discovery, I declare that cinema-goers of the world must unite to end the tyranny of fake law enforcement and carry our food and drink into the movies unconcealed. No more popcorn and Coke hidden in our sweatshirts and bags. From now on, we will carry them proudly in our arms!