If you or someone you know is entering this holiday season after having just lost someone very close to them, well, we can’t really put into words how much that must hurt, and we’re not going to try. What we are going to do is share with you some advice and tips we have that will hopefully help you or others get through this hard time. Let’s have a look.
Don’t try to make this Christmas like all the other Christmases. This can be hard especially if you fancy tradition and maybe feel as though the person you lost would be upset you were changing things for them, but sometimes when we do the same things we’ve done year after year, we end up hurting more because you’re missing that person’s reactions or witty one-liners. Consider a change of scenery for this Christmas or simply doing a few things differently.
(image via: grown and flown)
Speaking of traditions, this could be a good year to start some new ones. It can hurt to relive past traditions and old memories. Consider this Christmas an opportunity to begin some new traditions. Be kind to yourself and be open to what this may look like for you; for instance, if you feel as though your new tradition should be lighting a candle in remembrance of your loved one, then there is your new tradition.
Remember that you’re not in this alone. Just like it’s your first Christmas without your loved one, the rest of your family is always experiencing their first Christmas without the same loved one as well and everyone will be feeling different things. This is the time to be open and honest with your family about what your needs are regarding the holiday and what their needs may be as well.
Patience is key. The funny thing about grief is that it tends to hit us when we least expect it, so as you approach the holiday you may find yourself grieving your loved one at seemingly random times; this is so okay. There is no right or wrong time to feel sad about holidays and memories past. Allow yourself to feel.
(image via: catholic 365)
Don’t feel guilty about enjoying Christmas. The holidays are the holidays and there is still a lot of fun to be had. If you catch yourself getting caught up in the holiday festivities, allow yourself that happiness. Your loved one wouldn’t want you missing out or being down on yourself for having a great time.
Don’t be afraid to reach out. If you just need some extra comfort this holiday season, even if it’s in the form of a random coffee date at some point, don’t be afraid to reach out to those who you know are good for you and your spirit during this difficult season of your life.